Department of Justice Warns Kyle Busch about Terrorism

Originally Posted on April 8, 2009 on foxsports.com.

(WASHINGTON DC) - Department of Justice officials confirmed that they had spoken to Kyle Busch and his team about terrorism concerns.
"Every time Kyle wins, the terrorism networks go wild.  They love him." said a person close to the situation.  
The official denied that Justice had ordered Busch to quit winning.  "Absolutely not.  We wouldn't suggest  that.  Well, unless national security were at stake.  There would be other alternatives we would explore."
"The Department of Justice is concerned because Kyle is becoming a hero to terrorists.  The Taliban and the Al-Queda see him as the antithesis of American heros like Dale Jr," explained JD Gibbs, who attended the meeting.  
When asked if the terrorists posed a threat to Busch's safety, the official explained, "The bigger danger is to those drivers who have scuffles with him on track.  The chatter about Dale Jr was sky high after the Texas race, and they view Carl Edwards as a potential usurper of Kyle's too.  There have been a couple near-riots in prisons were these guys are held when Busch crashes out of the race, but nothing too serious.  Yet." 
"I don't think Kyle will tone down anything," asserted Gibbs.  "These are bad guys, but deep down, they're just regular Nascar fans.  Look, Justice also said that the terrorist networks spiked when Jeff Gordon's wife's new hairdo was shown too.  Apparently they liked it long.   It really doesn't mean anything."
"We'll keep tabs on things.  We just thought it was important for Busch to realize what was going on when he did well.  It could be detrimental to national security if he's not careful with what he says and does."  said the official.