Monday, July 20, 2009

Ferrari Leaves Formula One to Race in Nascar

Originally Posted on May 15, 2009 on

(CHARLOTTE, NC)  Ferrari stunned the racing world today by carrying out its threat to leave Formula One over the "Budget Cap Flap."  Luca di Montezemolo, Ferrari President, announced that the legendary organization would start competing in Nascar races beginning with the next Daytona race slated for July.  

"We are tired of Max Mosley and Bernie Ecclestone's excessive meddling in Formula One racing.  We want to spend our money, be successful, and target the American audience," remarked di Montezemolo.  "All Ecclestone is trying to do is recover the money he lost in his divorce when his wife took him to the cleaners.  And Mosley needs more cash to pay for his hired girls."

Brian France gushed "We are so excited for Ferrari to join Nascar racing.  I'm positive our fans will embrace Felipe Massa and Kimi Raikkonen just like they have Max Papis and Juan Pablo Montoya.  Especially once they learn to pronounce their names.  And learn Kimi is a guy's name.  Oh, and learn to speak Italian since they will still be talking to their teams in Italian on the radio."

Di Montezemolo announced that as part of the deal, Kasey Kahne's car would be painted a different color.  "Ferraris can be the only red car on the track, as is our tradition."

Richard Petty, present for RPM,  commented, "We agreed.   Who could turn down the $30 million they offered? Kasey will be driving a Petty Blue car with the Bud logo."

The Ferrari team appeared shocked at how cheap it was to race in the Nascar league. "I can't believe that our budget can be less than the Formula One Budget cap and we can still be competitive," said di Montezemolo.  "We figure over half of our engineering group can be let go with no loss in competitiveness.  But of course we won't do that until we're winning at least 75% of the races.  Which should be by March 2010."

Other Formula One teams were shocked at the change of events.  "What do you mean Ferrari won't compete," said Lewis Hamilton.  "This won't be a World Championship if they aren't involved.  Any chance Braun will go too?"

Nascar teams were stunned at the addition of Ferrari to the field.  "How is that going to work?" said Kyle Busch.  

"Won't they have to qualify for all the races?" remarked Tony Stewart.

Ferrari had anticipated the qualifications problem, and as part of the deal to join Nascar, requested an exemption from qualifying.  France explained, "Ferrari will be given an automatic  starting position in all races until the start of next year.  In essence we will have 37 cars set in the field each week - the Top 35 plus 2 Ferrari cars."

Neither Massa or Raikkonen appeared at the news conference, but di Montezemolo stated that at both were excited at the prospect of touring the Nascar locales such as Talladega, Dover, Fontana and Las Vegas.  "Monte Carlo, Barcelona and Bahrain get boring when you go every year.  This will add excitement to the rigors of traveling."